Translation review

Paragraph 4

Changed

Before

The survivors arriving at the power station this time totaled one hundred and eighteen.

After

The survivors who arrived at the power station this time numbered one hundred and eighteen.

Paragraph 9

Changed

Before

[Mission Description: A true shelter should possess the capacity for sustainable development. Host is requested to establish at least one stable supply line for each of the following within the shelter: fruits and vegetables, meat, and staple food.]

After

[Mission Description: A true shelter should possess the capacity for sustainable development. Host is requested to establish at least one stable supply line within the shelter for each of the following: fruits and vegetables, meat, and staple food.]

Paragraph 12

Changed

Before

Sure enough, just as he had guessed, this system had a clear preference for taking in survivors.

After

Sure enough, just as he had guessed, this system clearly favored taking in survivors.

Paragraph 13

Changed

Before

And this "Personnel Certification Center" reward had arrived at exactly the right time.

After

And the reward of a Personnel Certification Center had arrived at exactly the right time.

Paragraph 18

Changed

Before

Shen Yan stood at the entrance of room C-101, looking at the equipment in the center of the room with slightly furrowed brows.

After

Shen Yan stood at the entrance to room C-101, looking at the equipment in the center of the room with a slight frown.

Paragraph 19

Changed

Before

She had only just finished registering the basic information of a hundred-odd people when she was called here by "Zhuangsheng."

After

She had just finished registering the basic information of more than a hundred people when "Zhuangsheng" called her here.

Paragraph 20

Changed

Before

In the center of the room was a pure white ring-shaped console, its surface as smooth as a mirror with no seams at all.

After

At the center of the room stood a pure-white, ring-shaped console. Its surface was as smooth as a mirror, without a single seam.

Paragraph 21

Changed

Before

Several pale blue holographic screens floated within the console's inner ring, data cascading across them like waterfalls, full of the beauty of futuristic technology.

After

Several pale-blue holographic screens floated within the console's inner ring, data cascading across them like waterfalls, creating a strikingly futuristic display.

Paragraph 23

Changed

Before

[Then, I discovered something interesting.] Ling Yu teased mysteriously.

After

[Then I discovered something interesting.] Ling Yu's voice turned mysteriously teasing.

Paragraph 24

Changed

Before

[Place your palm on that screen in front of you.]

After

[Place your palm on the screen in front of you.]

Paragraph 25

Changed

Before

Shen Yan looked suspiciously at the camera, then at the holographic screen flashing the words "PLEASE VERIFY." After hesitating for a moment, she pressed her palm onto it as instructed.

After

Shen Yan eyed the camera suspiciously, then looked at the holographic screen flashing the words "PLEASE VERIFY." After hesitating for a moment, she pressed her palm against it as instructed.

Paragraph 27

Changed

Before

The instant her palm made contact, the screen lit up with a soft white glow. A pale blue beam shot out from the top of the console, sweeping over Shen Yan's entire body from head to toe like a ripple of water.

After

The instant her palm made contact, the screen lit up with a soft white glow. A pale-blue beam shot out from the top of the console and swept over Shen Yan's entire body from head to toe like a ripple of water.

Paragraph 30

Changed

Before

Immediately after, her own high-definition three-dimensional avatar appeared on the largest holographic screen in front of her, with a series of blank fields waiting to be filled in beside it.

After

Immediately afterward, her own high-definition, three-dimensional avatar appeared on the largest holographic screen in front of her, with a series of blank fields waiting to be filled in beside it.

Paragraph 31

Changed

Before

Shen Yan's eyes widened in an instant. "Could this be...?"

After

Shen Yan's eyes widened. "Could this be...?"

Paragraph 32

Changed

Before

[That's right, this base's Personnel Certification Center,] Ling Yu's voice carried a hint of pride.

After

[That's right, this base's Personnel Certification Center,] Ling Yu said, his voice carrying a hint of pride.

Paragraph 34

Changed

Before

Hearing this, the surprise on Shen Yan's face quickly faded, replaced by an expression of speechlessness.

After

Hearing this, the surprise on Shen Yan's face quickly faded, replaced by speechlessness.

Paragraph 35

Changed

Before

She turned her head toward the camera in the corner and said in a gloomy tone, "Then what exactly was I busy doing all morning? Couldn't you have said that earlier?"

After

She turned toward the camera in the corner and said gloomily, "Then what exactly was I busy doing all morning? Couldn't you have told me that earlier?"

Paragraph 37

Changed

Before

[Besides, physical archiving of paper information is also a necessary security measure.]

After

[Besides, archiving paper information is also a necessary security measure.]

Paragraph 38

Changed

Before

Ling Yu answered with the utmost righteousness. [Although, this place does support printing too, so there's that.]

After

Ling Yu answered with utmost righteousness. [Although this place does support printing too, so there's that.]

Paragraph 45

Changed

Before

A light flashed in a recessed slot on one side of the console, and with a click, a card was spat out.

After

A light flashed in a recessed slot on one side of the console, and with a click, a card was ejected.

Paragraph 48

Changed

Before

In the upper-left corner of the horizontal card face was a laser-etched number, "001," with her portrait beside it—the photo quality far nicer than the one on her ID card.

After

In the upper-left corner of the horizontal card face was a laser-etched number, "001," with her portrait beside it—the photo quality was far better than the one on her ID card.

Paragraph 49

Changed

Before

Below were a few basic pieces of information such as name and age. The overall design was very clean yet gave off a high-end impression.

After

Below that were a few basic details, such as her name and age. The overall design was very clean, yet it gave off an unmistakably high-end impression.

Paragraph 50

Changed

Before

"So this is the ID card the shelter will use from now on?" Shen Yan held it in her hand, examining it over and over, quite fascinated.

After

"So this is the ID card the shelter will use from now on?" Shen Yan held it in her hand, examining it over and over, fascinated.

Paragraph 52

Changed

Before

Ling Yu was eagerly getting ready to introduce the card's powerful features when Shen Yan's brows suddenly knitted together.

After

Ling Yu was eagerly preparing to introduce the card's powerful features when Shen Yan's brows suddenly drew together.

Paragraph 53

Changed

Before

She raised the card, pointed at a line of small text beneath her name, and read aloud in a strange tone: "I understand the logic, but... why is there a 'race' tag on this?"

After

She raised the card, pointed to a line of small text beneath her name, and read it aloud in a strange tone: "I understand the logic, but... why is there a 'race' tag on this?"

Paragraph 57

Changed

Before

In the cafeteria, the lights above the new survivors who were wolfing down their food suddenly dimmed, then flared bright again, flickering erratically.

After

In the cafeteria, the lights above the new survivors wolfing down their food suddenly dimmed, then flared bright again, flickering erratically.

Paragraph 59

Changed

Before

In the dormitory building, Teacher Zhang Jing was teaching the children to recite "The white sun sets behind the mountains" when the ceiling lights flickered bright and dim, "startling" several children into joyful shrieks.

After

In the dormitory building, Teacher Zhang Jing was teaching the children to recite "The white sun sets behind the mountains" when the ceiling lights flickered between bright and dim, "startling" several children into delighted shrieks.

Paragraph 62

Changed

Before

[It's nothing,] Ling Yu's voice spread across the base through the broadcast system.

After

[It's nothing,] Ling Yu's voice spread throughout the base through the broadcast system.

Paragraph 65

Changed

Before

Shen Yan silently tucked the freshly regenerated identity card into her pocket. Race was no longer displayed on the card face.

After

Shen Yan silently tucked the freshly regenerated identity card into her pocket. The race information was no longer displayed on its face.

Paragraph 66

Changed

Before

Her expression was a little stiff as she tugged at the corner of her mouth. "Heh, looks like this equipment... is pretty prone to glitching, huh!"

After

Her expression was a little stiff as she tugged at the corner of her mouth. "Heh, looks like this equipment... is pretty prone to glitches, huh?"

Paragraph 76

Changed

Before

"Mm," Shen Yan nodded. "I'll go call Zhang Wu and the others over."

After

"Mm," Shen Yan said with a nod. "I'll go call Zhang Wu and the others over."

Paragraph 78

Changed

Before

At two in the afternoon, all survivors, including the more than a hundred newcomers, had completed their information registration and received their own identity cards.

After

At two in the afternoon, all the survivors, including the more than one hundred newcomers, had completed their information registration and received their own identity cards.

Paragraph 79

Changed

Before

"Whoa! This thing is seriously sci-fi!" Lin Yue held his card, number "004," turning it over and over, unable to put it down, his face full of admiration.

After

"Whoa! This thing is seriously sci-fi!" Lin Yue held his card, number "004," turning it over and over, unable to put it down. His face was full of admiration.

Paragraph 81

Changed

Before

Ling Yu's voice suddenly came out of the card, startling Lin Yue.

After

Ling Yu's voice suddenly came from the card, startling Lin Yue.

Paragraph 83

Changed

Before

"Because it's cutting-edge technology." Shen Yan, standing beside him, repeated Ling Yu's words with a deadpan face.

After

"Because it's cutting-edge technology." Shen Yan, standing beside him, repeated Ling Yu's words with a deadpan expression.

Paragraph 84

Changed

Before

She didn't look the least bit surprised; instead, her face wore a faint look of someone already dead inside.

After

She didn't look the least bit surprised. Instead, her face wore the faint expression of someone who was already dead inside.

Paragraph 86

Changed

Before

[This card has a built-in micro communication module. It's not just me—you can pair your cards with one another. Once you store the other person's identification code, you can call them anytime, anywhere.]

After

[This card has a built-in micro-communication module. It's not just me—you can pair your cards with one another. Once you store another person's identification code, you can call them anytime, anywhere.]

Paragraph 87

Changed

Before

[Of course, provided the other party hasn't blocked you or declined the call.]

After

[Of course, that's provided the other party hasn't blocked you or declined the call.]

Paragraph 89

Changed

Before

"Your permissions sound really high!" Zhou Yi marveled from the side.

After

"Your permissions sound really extensive!" Zhou Yi marveled from the side.

Paragraph 90

Changed

Before

[Only with high permissions can I serve everyone better!]

After

[Only with extensive permissions can I serve everyone better!]

Paragraph 91

Changed

Before

Zhang Wu was more concerned with practical matters: "How far is the communication range?"

After

Zhang Wu was more concerned with practical matters. "How far is the communication range?"

Paragraph 92

Changed

Before

[Theoretically, there's no limit, but the actual performance hasn't been tested. You can try it when you go out on missions later—at the very least, it's definitely longer range than a walkie-talkie.]

After

[Theoretically, there's no limit, but its actual performance hasn't been tested. You can try it when you go out on missions later—at the very least, its range is definitely longer than a walkie-talkie's.]

Paragraph 99

Changed

Before

Anyway, if that kind of work were being done, people's enthusiasm would definitely be high.

After

Anyway, if that kind of work were undertaken, people's enthusiasm would definitely be high.

Paragraph 102

Changed

Before

To deal with the management and security pressure brought by the suddenly ballooning population, he also unhesitatingly spent most of the civilization points he had just received.

After

To deal with the management and security pressure brought on by the sudden population boom, he also unhesitatingly spent most of the civilization points he had just received.

Paragraph 110

Changed

Before

The actual distance between the two locations was no more than a dozen or so kilometers. With the current abundance of manpower, the difficulty of this task had already decreased considerably.

After

The actual distance between the two locations was no more than a dozen or so kilometers. With the current abundance of manpower, the difficulty of the task had already decreased considerably.