Translation review

Paragraph 1

Changed

Before

Shen Yan crouched down and picked up that silver-white metal cylinder.

After

Shen Yan crouched down and picked up the silver-white metal cylinder.

Paragraph 2

Changed

Before

It wasn't large—a bit shorter than a thermos—and its surface had no buttons, seams, or markings.

After

It wasn't large—a section shorter than a thermos—and its surface had no buttons, seams, or markings.

Paragraph 3

Changed

Before

It felt cold to the touch, yet it was very light, as if hollow.

After

It felt cold to the touch, yet its weight was very light, as if it were hollow.

Paragraph 4

Changed

Before

But a soft white light shone out from inside, even and steady, unlike any luminous material she knew.

After

But a soft white glow shone through from inside, even and steady, unlike any luminous material she knew.

Paragraph 5

Changed

Before

"What is this?"

After

“What is this?”

Paragraph 6

Changed

Before

The screen flickered with text:

After

The screen flashed:

Paragraph 7

Changed

Before

[Black tech from a great power. Can be used to repair complex machinery.]

After

【National black tech. Can be used to repair complex machinery.】

Paragraph 8

Changed

Before

Shen Yan turned the cylinder over but still couldn't find a switch.

After

Shen Yan held the cylinder and turned it over, still unable to find a switch.

Paragraph 9

Changed

Before

"What kind of machinery, exactly?"

After

“What machinery, exactly?”

Paragraph 10

Changed

Before

[Anything, probably.]

After

【Anything, probably.】

Paragraph 12

Changed

Before

"Can it repair weapons? Like turning this crowbar into a chainsaw or something?"

After

“Can it repair weapons? Like, turn this crowbar into a chainsaw or something?”

Paragraph 13

Changed

Before

[Please note: it's repair, not an upgrade. And it's definitely not a wish-granting device.]

After

【Please note: this is repair, not an upgrade—and definitely not wish fulfillment.】

Paragraph 14

Changed

Before

[Also, I'd suggest not letting anime mislead you. A chainsaw isn't necessarily better than a crowbar.]

After

【Also, don't be misled by anime. A chainsaw isn't necessarily better than a crowbar.】

Paragraph 15

Changed

Before

"Then what do you want me to do with this?"

After

“Then what do you want me to do with it?”

Paragraph 16

Changed

Before

[Repair the backup diesel generator.]

After

【Repair the backup diesel generator.】

Paragraph 17

Changed

Before

Shen Yan frowned. "Reason?"

After

Shen Yan frowned. “Reason?”

Paragraph 18

Changed

Before

[Because the power supply for the entire station is extremely fragile right now. If anything else goes wrong on the main circuit, without backup power I won't even be able to control the access control system.]

After

【Because the entire station's power supply is extremely fragile right now. If the main circuit runs into any more trouble and there's no backup power, I won't even be able to control the access system.】

Paragraph 19

Changed

Before

[In that case, you'd be facing more than three hundred zombies, holding a single crowbar, fighting alone.]

After

【At that point, you'll be facing more than three hundred zombies with a single crowbar, fighting alone.】

Paragraph 21

Changed

Before

"Understood. I'll fix the generator."

After

“Understood. I'll fix the generator.”

Paragraph 22

Changed

Before

[Here's your route map.]

After

【This is your action route map.】

Paragraph 23

Changed

Before

Ling Yu displayed the overall route map on the screen. To get from the pump room to the diesel generator room, she would have to cross the duty corridor in Zone C—about eighty meters in total.

After

Ling Yu displayed the overall route diagram on the screen. From the pump room to the diesel generator room, the route crossed through Zone C's duty corridor, about eighty meters in total.

Paragraph 24

Changed

Before

He had three surveillance cameras available along this stretch. He'd just scanned it and found only two zombies lingering near the storage room in the middle of the corridor.

After

He had three surveillance cameras available along this stretch. He'd just scanned it and found only two zombies wandering near the storage room in the middle of the corridor.

Paragraph 25

Changed

Before

Not too hard.

After

Not too difficult.

Paragraph 26

Changed

Before

Before Shen Yan set out, Ling Yu also downloaded "Infrastructure Repair Lv.1."

After

Before Shen Yan set out, Ling Yu also downloaded “Infrastructure Repair Lv.1.”

Paragraph 27

Changed

Before

In an instant, a data stream composed of a vast amount of knowledge poured directly into his mind.

After

In an instant, a data stream of vast knowledge poured directly into his mind.

Paragraph 28

Changed

Before

He immediately gained a clear picture of the extent of damage to every piece of equipment in the station, the cause of each fault, and the repair plan for each.

After

He immediately understood the extent of damage, cause of failure, and repair plan for every piece of equipment in the station.

Paragraph 29

Changed

Before

At the same time, he began using the ability to repair the three damaged cameras along the Zone C route.

After

At the same time, he began using this ability to repair the three damaged cameras along the route in Zone C.

Paragraph 30

Changed

Before

The repair process didn't require Shen Yan to lift a finger—the Lv.1 ability allowed him to remotely repair lightly damaged electrical equipment, at the cost of a small amount of civilization points per device.

After

The repair process didn't require Shen Yan to lift a finger—the Lv.1 ability allowed him to remotely repair lightly damaged electrical equipment, at the cost of a small number of civilization points for each unit.

Paragraph 31

Changed

Before

Three cameras cost him 60 points, but his visual coverage immediately expanded, and he discovered three more zombies wandering in the previous blind spots of the cameras.

After

The three cameras cost him 60 points, but his visual coverage immediately expanded outward, revealing three more zombies wandering in what had previously been camera blind spots.

Paragraph 32

Changed

Before

It was well worth it. After all, Shen Yan was his only worker at the moment.

After

It was well worth it. After all, Shen Yan was currently his only labor force.

Paragraph 35

Changed

Before

[Zone C duty corridor: 5 infected, marked. Exit right, follow the pipes.]

After

【Zone C duty corridor: 5 infected, marked. Turn right when you exit, follow the pipes.】

Paragraph 36

Changed

Before

Shen Yan pushed open the pump room door and walked into the corridor.

After

Shen Yan pushed open the pump room door and stepped into the corridor.

Paragraph 37

Changed

Before

This stretch was cleaner than Zone B, without much overturned clutter.

After

This stretch was a bit cleaner than Zone B, without much overturned clutter.

Paragraph 38

Changed

Before

A few emergency lights were still on, their pale white light falling onto the floor and dragging out long shadows.

After

A few emergency lights were still on, casting pale white light across the floor and dragging out long shadows.

Paragraph 40

Changed

Before

The door was half open, pitch dark inside.

After

The door was half open, pitch black inside.

Paragraph 42

Changed

Before

[Stop. Go into this duty room. There's something in there you might find useful.]

After

【Stop. Go into this duty room. There are some things inside you might find useful.】

Paragraph 44

Changed

Before

In the corner sat a box of compressed biscuits, a few bottles of mineral water, and an orange-red fire safety axe.

After

In the corner was a box of compressed biscuits, a few bottles of mineral water, and an orange-red fire safety axe.

Paragraph 45

Changed

Before

The axe wasn't big—swingable in one hand—and the edge was still fairly sharp.

After

The axe wasn't big—it could be swung with one hand—and its edge was still fairly sharp.

Paragraph 46

Changed

Before

It was a bit shorter than the crowbar, but clearly more efficient for chopping.

After

It was a bit shorter than the crowbar, but clearly far more efficient at chopping.

Paragraph 48

Changed

Before

Then she sat on a chair, rested for a while, ate some compressed biscuits, and drank a bottle of water. Her mental state was noticeably better.

After

Then she sat in the chair, rested for a while, ate some compressed biscuits, and drank a bottle of water. Her mental state was clearly a bit better.

Paragraph 49

Changed

Before

Once rested, she tucked the crowbar into her backpack strap as a backup, held the safety axe in her right hand, and began moving stealthily again.

After

After resting, she stowed the crowbar on her backpack strap as a backup, held the safety axe in her right hand, and began moving stealthily again.

Paragraph 50

Changed

Before

Midway through the corridor, Ling Yu had used the broadcast in advance to lure the two zombies to the end of the side passage, then sealed the fire door shut.

After

In the middle of the corridor, Ling Yu had used the broadcast in advance to lure the two zombies to the end of a side passage, then sealed the fire door shut.

Paragraph 51

Changed

Before

As she passed that door, she heard the pounding from inside. Her pace quickened a couple of beats, and her expression relaxed considerably.

After

When she passed that door, she heard the banging from inside. Her pace quickened by two beats, and her expression relaxed considerably.

Paragraph 52

Changed

Before

After taking some trouble to go around the other three zombies, she reached her destination without incident.

After

After taking some effort to circle around the other three zombies, she arrived smoothly at her destination.

Paragraph 54

Changed

Before

The machine room was much more spacious than the pump room. Two large diesel generator units stood side by side, their military-green steel shells printed with serial numbers.

After

The machine room was much more spacious than the pump room. Two large diesel generator units stood side by side, their military-green iron shells printed with serial numbers.

Paragraph 55

Changed

Before

The air carried a distinct smell of diesel. A pool of dark liquid spread out from beneath Unit No. 1.

After

The air carried a distinct smell of diesel. A puddle of dark liquid spread out from beneath Unit No. 1.

Paragraph 56

Changed

Before

The leak in the fuel line was obvious—a hose joint had split open, diesel seeping down through the crack and pooling across the concrete floor.

After

The leak point in the fuel line was obvious—a hose connector had cracked open, diesel seeping down through the split and pooling on the concrete floor.