Translation review

Paragraph 2

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Ankang Pharmacy was located in the row of street-front shops west of the hospital. It had two floors—the first floor was the sales area, the second floor the storeroom.

After

Ankang Pharmacy sat in the row of storefronts west of the hospital. It had two floors: the first floor was the sales area, and the second floor was the storeroom.

Paragraph 3

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Inside the tempered glass door, three rows of shelves were wedged against it, packed full of cases of medical alcohol and saline solution, leaving only a palm-wide observation slit in the upper left corner.

After

Inside the tempered-glass door, three rows of shelves were wedged against it, packed full of cases of medical alcohol and saline solution. Only a palm-wide observation slit remained in the upper-left corner.

Paragraph 4

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The rolling shutter door was half-lowered, its bottom tightly braced by two steel pipes, forming a makeshift defensive line.

After

The rolling shutter door was half-lowered. Its bottom was braced tightly by two steel pipes, forming a makeshift defensive line.

Paragraph 6

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Zhou Cun'an, forty-six years old, a former infantryman, had been running this pharmacy for almost ten years. When the virus broke out, he was taking inventory and, relying on his reflexes, locked the door the first moment.

After

Zhou Cun'an, forty-six years old, a former infantryman, had been running this pharmacy for almost ten years. When the virus broke out, he was taking inventory. Relying on his reflexes, he locked the door the first moment he could.

Paragraph 7

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Also present were two other couples: Lin Yu and Su Xiao—Su Xiao was three months pregnant—and Zhang Cuihua and Old Chen, who had broken his left leg on a construction site. Plus a high school sophomore named Li Mengmeng. The six of them had been crammed into the pharmacy for a day now.

After

Also inside were two other couples: Lin Yu and Su Xiao—Su Xiao was three months pregnant—and Zhang Cuihua and Old Chen, who had broken his left leg on a construction site. Plus a high school sophomore named Li Mengmeng. The six of them had been crammed into the pharmacy for a day now.

Paragraph 8

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All phones were dead. There was no radio in the pharmacy either. Zhou Cun'an had searched the entire storeroom and found only one that needed to be plugged in, but when he plugged it in, there wasn't even a static crackle.

After

All phones were dead. There was no radio in the shop either. Zhou Cun'an had searched the entire storeroom and found only one device that needed to be plugged in—but when he did, there wasn’t even a static crackle.

Paragraph 11

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All that was left were the howls outside the door and the dwindling biscuits inside.

After

All that remained were the howls outside the door—and the dwindling biscuits inside.

Paragraph 13

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Stretched, they could last three days. If they ate freely, they wouldn't make it through one.

After

If they stretched it out, they could last three days. If they ate freely, they wouldn’t make it through one.

Paragraph 15

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But Old Chen's leg injury was too severe. Oral antibiotics alone couldn't suppress the infection. He was already running a fever, occasionally mumbling deliriously.

After

But Old Chen’s leg injury was too severe. Oral antibiotics alone couldn’t suppress the infection. He was already running a fever and, at times, mumbling deliriously.

Paragraph 18

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There weren't many zombies on the street—a dozen or so, aimlessly wandering. As long as the door held, they were safe for now.

After

There weren’t many zombies on the street—maybe a dozen, aimlessly wandering. As long as the door held, they were safe for now.

Paragraph 20

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Before

Food would last only a few days. Old Chen's injury wouldn't hold either. The zombies were gathering, and sooner or later, the door would be broken open.

After

Food would last only a few days. Old Chen’s injury wouldn’t hold either. The zombies were gathering, and sooner or later, the door would be broken open.

Paragraph 21

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Zhang Cuihua sat beside her husband, using a wet towel to wipe his forehead, crying as she did.

After

Zhang Cuihua sat beside her husband, using a wet towel to wipe his forehead. She cried as she did.

Paragraph 22

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Old Chen's breathing was heavy, his cheeks flushed with fever. The blood seeping through his pant leg had turned blackish-red, giving off a faint, putrid smell.

After

Old Chen’s breathing was heavy, his cheeks flushed with fever. Blood seeped through his pant leg, turning blackish-red and giving off a faint, putrid smell.

Paragraph 23

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"Brother Zhou," Zhang Cuihua suddenly looked up, "if he keeps burning like this, it's not good... Could he turn into one of those things?"

After

“Brother Zhou,” Zhang Cuihua suddenly said, looking up, “if he keeps burning like this, it’s not good… Could he turn into one of those things?”

Paragraph 24

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Zhou Cun'an walked over, crouched down, and lifted Old Chen's pant leg to look.

After

Zhou Cun'an walked over, crouched down, and lifted Old Chen’s pant leg to inspect the wound.

Paragraph 25

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The skin around the wound was red, swollen, and hot, showing signs of ulceration, but it wasn't the greenish-gray of viral infection—just ordinary inflammation.

After

The skin around it was red, swollen, and hot—showing signs of ulceration—but it wasn’t the greenish-gray look of a viral infection. It was just ordinary inflammation.

Paragraph 26

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He put the pant leg back down. "It's not a viral infection. It's just inflamed. Change the dressing again, increase the antibiotic dose. He can hold on."

After

He set the pant leg back down. “It’s not a viral infection. It’s just inflamed. Change the dressing again and increase the antibiotic dose. He can hold on.”

Paragraph 28

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Su Xiao looked unwell. Morning sickness combined with fright had left her very weak.

After

Su Xiao looked awful. Morning sickness mixed with fear had left her very weak.

Paragraph 29

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"Brother Zhou," Lin Yu frowned, "we can't just hide here forever, can we? Isn't there any noise outside? The government or the military has to send rescue, right?"

After

“Brother Zhou,” Lin Yu frowned, “we can’t just hide here forever, can we? Isn’t there any noise outside? The government or the military has to send rescue, right?”

Paragraph 30

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"Hard to say. All electronic devices are wrecked, communications are down. Even if the military wants to rescue people, they have to do it step by step. Our safest bet right now is to stay put here, conserve our strength, and wait for order to be restored outside. Then someone will naturally come."

After

“Hard to say. All electronic devices are wrecked, and communications are down. Even if the military wants to rescue people, they have to do it step by step. Our safest bet right now is to stay put here, conserve our strength, and wait for order to be restored outside. Then someone will naturally come.”

Paragraph 31

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"But my wife is pregnant. She needs nutrition, clean food and water. And there are bound to be survivors at the hospital. The military will definitely rescue the hospital first. We're so close to the hospital—maybe we'll benefit from that."

After

“But my wife is pregnant. She needs nutrition, clean food, and water. And there are bound to be survivors at the hospital. The military will definitely rescue the hospital first. We’re so close to the hospital—maybe we’ll benefit from that.”

Paragraph 32

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Before

Lin Yu's words had barely faded when Li Mengmeng suddenly flinched, pointing at the door:

After

Lin Yu’s words had barely faded when Li Mengmeng suddenly flinched and pointed at the door: