Translation review

Paragraph 2

Changed

Before

Xu Qiang crouched in the observation post on the third floor of the east-side residential building, the military binoculars braced firmly against his shoulder. The lenses swept across the road heading north toward the First People's Hospital.

After

Xu Qiang crouched in the observation post on the third floor of the east-side residential building, military binoculars braced firmly against his shoulder. The lenses swept across the road heading north toward the First People’s Hospital.

Paragraph 3

Changed

Before

Abandoned vehicles on the road were strewn haphazardly, blocking half the lanes. Gray-blue zombie figures wandered sporadically in the gaps between the cars, a rough estimate putting them at no fewer than seventy.

After

Abandoned vehicles littered the roadway, blocking half the lanes. Gray-blue zombie figures wandered sporadically in the gaps between the cars—roughly seventy or more.

Paragraph 4

Changed

Before

Further off, the hospital complex was hidden in the afternoon haze, its dirty gray silhouette pressing down at the road's end like a tombstone that hadn't been moved.

After

Farther out, the hospital complex was swallowed by afternoon haze. Its dirty gray silhouette pressed down at the end of the road like a tombstone that hadn’t been moved.

Paragraph 5

Changed

Before

Xu Qiang lowered the binoculars, his fingertips quickly sketching the street layout around the hospital on the windowsill dust.

After

Xu Qiang lowered the binoculars. With quick, practiced movements, his fingertips sketched the street layout around the hospital on the windowsill dust.

Paragraph 6

Changed

Before

Just then, a low diesel engine rumble came from the direction of Emergency Road to the south, growing closer.

After

Just then, a low diesel engine rumble rolled in from the direction of Emergency Road to the south, growing louder.

Paragraph 7

Changed

Before

Xu Qiang spun around and raised the binoculars again, aiming southward.

After

Xu Qiang spun around and raised the binoculars again, aiming south.

Paragraph 8

Changed

Before

In the dust, a formation of vehicles was steadily approaching along the cleared road surface. The lead vehicle's camouflage body was sharp-angled, and the heavy machine gun mounted on the roof gleamed coldly in the sunlight—it was their own Mengshi assault vehicle.

After

In the dust, a formation of vehicles advanced steadily along the cleared road surface. The lead vehicle’s camouflage body was sharp-angled, and the heavy machine gun mounted on the roof caught the sunlight with a cold gleam—one of their Mengshi assault vehicles.

Paragraph 9

Changed

Before

"Own convoy sighted from the south. Nine vehicles, full formation," the scout reported the result simultaneously. "Lead vehicle identification belongs to Second Platoon."

After

“Own convoy sighted from the south. Nine vehicles, full formation,” the scout reported at the same time. “Lead vehicle identification: Second Platoon.”

Paragraph 10

Changed

Before

Yang Hong quickly climbed to the third floor, followed Xu Qiang's gaze, and his brow relaxed slightly. "The rear reinforcements have arrived."

After

Yang Hong quickly climbed to the third floor, following Xu Qiang’s line of sight. His brow eased slightly. “The rear reinforcements have arrived.”

Paragraph 12

Changed

Before

Six Mengshi assault vehicles, one armored command vehicle, and two escorting ten-ton military cargo trucks entered the compound's main gate in sequence.

After

Six Mengshi assault vehicles, one armored command vehicle, and two escorting ten-ton military cargo trucks entered the compound’s main gate in sequence.

Paragraph 13

Changed

Before

Tires crunched over gravel, producing a fine sound.

After

Tires crunched over gravel, producing a fine, gritty sound.

Paragraph 14

Changed

Before

After the lead Mengshi vehicle came to a stop, Second Platoon Leader Zhao Feng pushed open the door and stepped out. His combat boots hit the concrete ground, and he quickly walked toward Shen Weizhen, who was waiting on the steps. He stood at attention and saluted:

After

After the lead Mengshi vehicle came to a stop, Second Platoon Leader Zhao Feng pushed open the door and stepped out. His combat boots struck the concrete with a solid thud. He strode quickly toward Shen Weizhen, who was waiting on the steps. He snapped to attention and saluted.

Paragraph 15

Changed

Before

"Reporting to the Commander-in-Chief, Second Platoon has completed the Armed Forces Department supply escort mission, all personnel have returned. All seized equipment and supplies are intact. No casualties, no vehicle losses."

After

“Reporting to the Commander-in-Chief, Second Platoon has completed the Armed Forces Department supply escort mission. All personnel have returned. All seized equipment and supplies are intact. No casualties. No vehicle losses.”

Paragraph 16

Changed

Before

Shen Weizhen returned the salute, his gaze sweeping across the convoy as it parked one after another.

After

Shen Weizhen returned the salute, his gaze sweeping across the convoy as the vehicles pulled in one after another.

Paragraph 17

Changed

Before

"Unload. Lin Xiao, take charge of inventory. Categorize into three groups: ordnance, protective gear, and supplies. Complete the count within one hour."

After

“Unload. Lin Xiao, take charge of inventory. Categorize everything into three groups: ordnance, protective gear, and supplies. Finish the count within one hour.”