Translation review

Paragraph 1

Changed

Before

While Yang Hong led Third Squad as the advance team pushing north along Emergency Road, Xu Qiang was leading Second Squad in dealing with a corpse pile on the road surface.

After

While Yang Hong led Third Squad as the advance team pushing north along Emergency Road, Xu Qiang led Second Squad in dealing with a corpse pile on the road surface.

Paragraph 2

Changed

Before

Oil-soaked cotton yarn was stuffed into the gaps of the corpse pile. The soldiers pulled the fuses back to a safe distance. Flames erupted with a roar, and the acrid stench of burning was swept by the wind, dispersing into the depths of the street.

After

Oil-soaked cotton yarn was stuffed into the gaps of the corpse pile. The soldiers pulled the fuses back to a safe distance. Flames erupted with a roar, and the acrid stench of burning swept on the wind, dispersing into the depths of the street.

Paragraph 3

Changed

Before

Black-red oily flames licked the layers of bodies, incinerating the potential risk of virus transmission along with them.

After

Black-red oily flames licked through the layers of bodies, incinerating the risk of virus transmission along with them.

Paragraph 4

Changed

Before

Xu Qiang's gaze swept over the burning corpse pile, then turned to the street extending north.

After

Xu Qiang’s gaze swept over the burning corpse pile, then shifted to the street stretching north.

Paragraph 6

Changed

Before

Over three hundred was just the vanguard of the corpse group in the northern section. The farther north they went, the closer they got to the First People's Hospital, and the density of the corpse group would only increase.

After

Over three hundred was only the vanguard of the corpse group in the northern section. The farther north they went, the closer they got to the First People’s Hospital—and the density of the corpse group would only increase.

Paragraph 7

Changed

Before

"Everyone check your gear. We follow Third Squad in five minutes."

After

“Everyone check your gear. We follow Third Squad in five minutes.”

Paragraph 9

Changed

Before

"Convenience store. Activity behind the rolling shutter. Number unknown," the scout reported in a low voice.

After

“Convenience store. Activity behind the rolling shutter. Number unknown,” the scout reported in a low voice.

Paragraph 11

Changed

Before

Three dull thuds—dang, dang, dang. Immediately, chaotic growls and scratching sounds came from inside the door. The sound of fingernails scraping against the iron sheet was sharp and piercing.

After

Three dull thuds—dang, dang, dang. Immediately, chaotic growls and scratching sounds came from inside the door. The noise of fingernails scraping against the iron sheet was sharp and piercing.

Paragraph 12

Changed

Before

"Lift the door thirty centimeters."

After

“Lift the door thirty centimeters.”

Paragraph 14

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Before

From the dim interior of the shop, two gray-blue figures rushed out, lunging bent-over toward the gap.

After

From the dim interior of the shop, two gray-blue figures rushed out, lunging forward in a bent-over charge toward the gap.

Paragraph 16

Changed

Before

Two precise shots hit the foreheads. The two zombies collapsed halfway, landing heavily on the threshold. Black blood flowed along the gap onto the sidewalk.

After

Two precise shots struck the foreheads. The two zombies collapsed halfway, landing heavily on the threshold. Black blood flowed along the gap onto the sidewalk.

Paragraph 17

Changed

Before

The soldiers did not enter immediately. They waited a moment to confirm there were no more sounds inside, then two soldiers slipped in from the side, one covering the rear, quickly clearing the shelves, the storeroom, and the blind spots around the cash register.

After

The soldiers didn’t enter right away. They waited a moment to confirm there were no more sounds inside, then two soldiers slipped in from the side—one covering the rear—quickly clearing the shelves, the storeroom, and the blind spots around the cash register.

Paragraph 18

Changed

Before

"Cleared. Four inside, all killed."

After

“Cleared. Four inside, all killed.”